who are you? you are who?

I think it's funny that when getting to know someone, one of the first questions typically following an exchange of names is, "So what do you do?"

More or less, I find myself asking the same question when I want to fish for something interesting to talk about. Assuming the person enjoys their occupation, it seems an easy way to get to know a person effortlessly. But then again, aren't you supposed to avoid talking about work outside of work? What if asking the person about their job isn't an easy subject for the stranger? What if they hate their job? Or worse, what if they open up about their job but leave you behind in the dust of vocabulary and terminology that's as good as foreign language to you....then what?

Without wanting to sound like a dry question from a dreaded interview, I've come to think it's better to ask a broader question when first meeting someone new. Something personal but not too prodding, something open-ended that could lead to interesting dialog, and something genuine that won't leave you scratching your head...If someone were trying to get to know me I'd much rather have them ask me about my hobbies, or favorite memories, or favorite tv shows. But, then again, you might get to know someone even better if you let them decide what they want to talk about.

Next time you find yourself meeting someone new at a party or staff event, why not ask the new person "Who are you? And what makes you you?" and see what they say.